Just from reading your journal, I always have thought you are a very honest person, and definitely never thought you had an ego :) Sometimes I find myself looking at what other people have and I get distraught and say to myself I should be farther than I am right now. I don't know if this relates to what you are feeling right now, but if it does, I hope it helps to hear someone else say that it's normal and everyone goes through low periods of doubt and low self-esteem and whatever else that makes us hard on ourselves. So, I know I have read way more into your post than maybe you wrote, but I was hoping this post would make you feel better. I think you are an incredibly strong person and you are doing great in life!