Seeking focus

So, I ran errands today, got my prescriptions filled, got the Palm Pilot replaced (again!). At least this time it was covered under the store's return policy.

I have heard, from friends in the business, that it is easier to make the things than test them. Computer chips and the like. They just send them out, knowing that we will find out quickly which ones are flawed and keep returning them until they work. How annoying. But, they are keeping tech support/customer service in business, I guess.

I also went to the office supply store, getting some file boxes to store old papers. I am daunted by the task of cleaning my very room, but if I don't it will be hard to get off my ass to pay bills or do anything practical like that.

I am putting in a resume tomorrow at the new State Farm office that is opening above Innovox. I wrote it, but I am not satisfied with it. I will work on it in the morning, because that is a better time for my brain.

Stan is worried about my past, and he said he will think about it later, so I am glad that he does not think it is insurmountable, but I am upset that it worries him. I guess I am paying the price for my faithlessness. I wish I could do something for him. I think about charging a candle for him, or even two, a white and a black, but I do not know if he would want it. I know God can do this. So I ask.

I think of all the life I have ignored while I was busy being frantic: when was the last time I read a good book? Bought new music, or listened to music that wasn't in the car? Danced? Exercised? Created art or wrote a story? I promise myself that tomorrow, I will start cleaning my room, and as I do, I will write to the girl who promised me the names of photographers, I will write to Roy and see whether I can help him with his next project. I will apply for the new job. I will start the things I have put off.

I will make a Christmas list!!

Right now, I will go to sleep!