Socially Inept

After years of therapy, I finally got to the point where I can recognize and respect my own boundaries. Now, I just have to figure out how to deal with the boundaries of a relationship. How do they change and grow? How do you know what you've got when you've got it?

Things you can't see

Last night, I got online and Tugrik was there and we had a long talk, and we seemed to be actually communicating. It was everything embarrassing and hopeful and scared and trying to be... something...

I am not going to talk about what he said, but I'm going to write down something I realized and told him while we were talking. I had felt guilty for feeling down around him. I didn't want to 'use' people or be on a 'rebound' relationship or any of that stuff.

Then I remembered that I love people. I lost someone I loved, and I've been going around to all the Other People I Love and making sure they're there. *patpat* Roon and Wes and Mark and Janel and Heather and DeAnna all get it, but around Tug I felt like I couldn't do that, because it would be some sort of Relationship Issue.

But it's not. He's someone I love, and don't want to lose. So, I'm repeating it here, if only for my benefit.

I get in more trouble feeling guilty for my feelings than almost anything else I do.