(no subject)

I can't believe I haven't written in two days. I guess that's how boring my life has been. I am on call tomorrow and the next day at work, so I have to stay around town in the early part of the day, but that's ok.

I'm going to miss the Innovox, I wish I wasn't mad at Jeff, but I am.

I have a lot of work to do in order to look for a new job. The Kempkers offered me event fees for taking care of their kids. I'm not adverse to it, but I am not sure how much work I'd have to lose. There's no claiming that having my admission paid could in any way make up for what could be $80-$100 on a busy day. So I have to figure out how frequently they go to events, how much time would be involved with me and the children together, and whether I could afford to take the hit.

I am quite tired. Which is scary. What reason have I got to be tired? Brian asked me out for coffee tomorrow. And Dan was talking about coming in for breakfast. I feel suddenly ugly and dirty. I feel like backpedaling from rejection, mine or theirs.

It doesn't have to mean anything, I tell myself, it's not like that anymore. The scary part is over, the worst already happened.

Ah, that's what I used to think, too, I answer myself.