The weekend

This past weekend, my two beloveds, dosferatu and marroonfire came to see me in New Orleans. It has been Christmas since I saw them and D said that he wanted to be a triad. So, our first time together as a triad.

And I've been feeling pretty slagged out. So, this was very rejuvenating for me. However, we did a lot of decorating of the new apartment, and although it's coming along quite well, and looking pretty interesting, it's still very, very messy. And I'm feeling a bit drained because the relationship with Robert has been really tiring, and so having D and M there was like getting really strong good medicine for a bad flu. I feel a strong need to sleep and be, if not coddled, at least warm and safe.

I see the shrink at the clinic tomorrow, too.

There's a lot to talk about, or at least a lot I've been talking about that I feel I need to explain; like my histrionics, the power exchange of communication, the need for community and family, the bizarre distancing going on with Robert, the need to write my own stories and trying to find my voice.... but it doesn't seem like I'm going to write it in this context. I love Lj and my Lochjournal client, but it doesn't make me feel cozy.

So I'm going to take a notebook off to the library and I'll tell you if I come up with anything later.