I trip over this myself. It's really hard to get my head around how people can not only lack understanding of crucial aspects of what they want to do (and what they called me for help on) but not even know enough to know what they don't know. My response to reaching the limits of my knowledge is to fill in the gaps in the knowledge I have, or if need be, go out and gain the knowledge I need. Finding my limits isn't a threat to my feelings of self-worth, it's a challenge to improve myself.
But for many people, it really does seem that they feel entitled to not be challenged or questioned, particularly if that entitlement is based on their own sense of class or social standing. The ones who are worst about this are very practiced at bullying others into accepting them as knowledgeable (or at least pretending to accept that simply to keep the peace), so by the time they get to someone who really does, in fact, understand what they're trying to deal with, they don't know how to reconcile that with their own image of themselves as "expert", particularly if they're caught in something absurdly stupid that they can no longer bluff their way out of.
It's easy to forget, if you're one of the few who do actually understand things. It's a completely alien way of thinking.
I have noticed that the people most eager to judge others on their class of behavior appeal to class in ways that put them at an advantage. I don't think it's you being rude. I think it's the other person playing a manipulation game designed to con you into feeling you're being rude. I've been on the receiving end of that game more times than I can count.
And it's one thing for someone to cry "freedom of speech" on their own page. When they barge into your page and abuse you in comment threads on your posts, that's something else again, and if you delete their comments and/or ban them from your page, you're absolutely within your rights to do so. It's no more censorship than it would be to respond to someone standing in your front yard with a megaphone insulting and slandering you by calling the police and having them arrested for trespassing.
So I completely agree with what you're saying, and while you may feel uncomfortable, that's more an artifact of an unfair situation than any fault of yours ..
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rosecarmine
(no subject)
Date: 2011-05-29 03:48 am (UTC)But for many people, it really does seem that they feel entitled to not be challenged or questioned, particularly if that entitlement is based on their own sense of class or social standing. The ones who are worst about this are very practiced at bullying others into accepting them as knowledgeable (or at least pretending to accept that simply to keep the peace), so by the time they get to someone who really does, in fact, understand what they're trying to deal with, they don't know how to reconcile that with their own image of themselves as "expert", particularly if they're caught in something absurdly stupid that they can no longer bluff their way out of.
It's easy to forget, if you're one of the few who do actually understand things. It's a completely alien way of thinking.
I have noticed that the people most eager to judge others on their class of behavior appeal to class in ways that put them at an advantage. I don't think it's you being rude. I think it's the other person playing a manipulation game designed to con you into feeling you're being rude. I've been on the receiving end of that game more times than I can count.
And it's one thing for someone to cry "freedom of speech" on their own page. When they barge into your page and abuse you in comment threads on your posts, that's something else again, and if you delete their comments and/or ban them from your page, you're absolutely within your rights to do so. It's no more censorship than it would be to respond to someone standing in your front yard with a megaphone insulting and slandering you by calling the police and having them arrested for trespassing.
So I completely agree with what you're saying, and while you may feel uncomfortable, that's more an artifact of an unfair situation than any fault of yours ..