You're exactly right, you know. Matthew & I would try to get together with friends & run into the same blow-off that you're getting. So, we got aggressive. We'd call someone we wanted to see & make solid plans. Time, place, length of visit, everything. We also learned, especially at furry coffee & the like, that trying to get a consensus didn't work well, but saying we're going *here*, join us if you want to do so, did work. Don't settle for being the "if we have time" friend. Ask for a solid commitment. If they won't give it to you, well, you've learned something about that friend, haven't you?