Sleeping in

[scyllacat]

My body copped out yesterday. Wes called to say that he didn't want to do dinner, Jay had to work and so the whole web-work thing got pushed back... or maybe I just fell asleep and forgot... but somewhere around 6 p.m., it was all over. I slept until 8 a.m. today. I thought, at some point, I should clean my room, do laundry, call Barry, call Jay. I should ... and my body-mind said, no more, and to make sure there was no more, put me to sleep. Where I stayed.

I dreamed about Daniel. I dreamed he left Marina for me, or said he would, but she and her children (of which there were 6 or 8 instead of the actual 3) were everywhere. I am so sad that I do not have children. I am so sad that all around me my friends are deciding not to have children, so my chances seem to be growing smaller and smaller. Daniel, who is, I am sure, a great father, and would have had the most beautiful children, told me he was marrying Marina, who is fixed, right after my ex-husband became my ex because he didn't want to have kids ... with ME. So, there are two people who won't reproduce, at least one of whom definitely SHOULD, in my opinion.

So, I'm getting up and going to work, and I will call Anne-Marie and see her after work, and then maybe I will watch Buffy with Wes, or maybe I will call Barry, or maybe Rick will be off work....

I know lots of mommas, but I don't know many who are married... or still married... or had their kids because they planned to, at the time they planned to....

Family planning appears to be a myth. My planning has ended in my not having a family.

I wonder what I will do at work today. Clean the car, maybe.

Comments

[simplysakka.livejournal.com]

Hey sweetie, so sorry I couldn't get together with you tonight... Not that you want to contract strep throat or anything... But I will miss you lots, and can think of *anything* that I'd rather be doing than lying in bed feeling like total crap... Anyway, hope things are going well for you... Perhaps next week?