Bad evil aging and bad evil materialism

I am disheartened today. I slept at Wes' last night and found out how bad the pad on my bed is. I'm not sure why I moved right now, except that I wanted to stay with Janel. I need also furniture, because my stuff doesn't fit in my room, and a computer desk.

But all that is pointless, because I just gave Wes $260 to pay the cat bill, and now I can work on the $500 I owe him for cat care and $700 I need to get the lawyer to file bankruptcy...

Someone asked me how things were going...

Money: I owe $500 to Wes (dreadalus), $6300 to my mom, $26,000 to the credit card companies, and I can get rid of the $26,000 if I come up with $700 for a lawyer to file bankruptcy. I don't HAVE $700, but wtf.

Friends and lovers: They all want to (and get to) have sex with me on occasion, but I still have no relationship that I could want for a future.

... but Janel and Anne-Marie and Emily are all my absolute angels. And Heather is still sweet as lavender flowers. (name drops: polychromatic22, simplysakka, sapphire_d, and marroonfire respectively...)

Mark has been generous, Droid is a wonderful lover, and As is actually a caring individual, although we're staying "just friends." (dosferatu, fornorald, and asbrand)

Wes is as supportive as always... he even got me low-sugar candy for Valentine's Day, and it is GOOD, too. We shared. :)

I hope things with Sara (elorie) are working out. I think they are. I miss her, though, and I have little time lately.

Work: My boss gave me a key to the place, and I've been incredibly bossy to the point that I'm actually losing work because I'm too busy taking care of the others, so I've decided to stop doing that.

I get a little extra by handing out menus to businesses during the off hours. I am looking at getting courier work, but it would require professional Commercial Driver insurance.

The Magazine: We hope to have the #0 issue of Belle Curve: The Deviation Standard online by March 15. We have copy, we have design, but everything is in the middle, it seems. Then there's the fact that I myself have so far contributed NO copy.

There is much balance, but on days like today when I'm dead broke, and looking at the fact that I'm spending another weekend researching, packing, housecleaning, shopping without money and doing the errands that HAVE to be done, I'm very TIRED.

Today, Wes woke me up and we went shopping at Lowe's, Office Max, Office Depot, K-Mart and Tuscany Fine Furnishings. I found out that nothing beats the Artlite "outlet" price of $50 on a 4-drawer file. That Staples downtown still has the best price on the ergonomic desk I want, although there's one at Lowe's for $100 that has potential.

Tomorrow, I go all the way to Rome to see my mom, good; track down the title people about my old car, annoying; get an emissions test for my new car, pissy (shouldn't the dealership have already DONE that when they said they had tax, tag, title covered?); and all this (in addition to the cat bill, which drove me up that way on a Monday in the first place) will keep me in NW Metro area when I'd rather be downtown attending a free meditation seminar.

Speaking of which, I missed the first haunted house workshop of the year today doing this other shopping. I'm not sure if I'm doing something wrong or not... apparently I want to do too much, but I can't imagine NOT being netherworld or dragon*con, even though it's a bitch to keep up with meetings.