Monday morning

Happy birthday lupaloo and tbrents. That little birthday feature is my favorite thing about the LochJournal client. It also does a great job helping one manage friend and group lists.

I've been working on signing up for reunion registries for adoptees and birth parents. This is a considerably scary thing for me, not being sure whether I actually wanted to meet my birth mother. But I think I'm ready.

Unfortunately, some of the registries cost money, and the ones I've found online so far offer no positive leads. I mailed off my free application to Soundex International, though, the largest free registry.

Being adopted is different, I've decided, because you know that there was intense moral decision-making surrounding your birth, if not your conception. Before you even came into the world you were trouble for someone. Someone who might love you, who probably struggled, and who probably made the best possible choice.... but you weren't welcomed with elation, you were a source of conflict.

And it's not so much this fact as the fact that, knowing you're adopted, it seeps in; you become aware of this circumstance that surrounds your birth and colors your existence. You live in a different world view than the millions of kids who can assume that their parents were pleased to hear they were pregnant. And of course, even if you're an "oops," you have your parents right there to ask about it, in most cases.

Adopted kids seem to find each other. I find them at random, it seems. Maybe we feel an obligation to the moral dilemma that determined our existence to be righteous, necessary.

Anyway, it's time for work, and it was a good and productive weekend. I may even get the darn website online.