(no subject)

[scyllacat]

I cleaned a lot of trash out of the house yesterday. I have a lot more to do today. I found trash that is over two years old in the garage. I know because I was here when it happened.

I dreamed about my father this morning. I hate it when that happens. Not because I hate dreaming about my father per se, but because I don't dream about my father, the person, I dream about the body that had to be taken care of. And my father was intelligent and lucid and loving until he died, but in my dreams, he's just a body, a representative husk.

I find myself having conversations in my dreams about how he's been dead since 1991, so I'm not particularly concerned about hism dying now. When I realize this, I always wonder why I don't know it's a dream. I always think, this happened before, yeah, but that was a dream.

I also dreamed I saw Princess Diana, but her back was turned to me.

I woke up suddenly, though, and jumped out of bed.

I'm truly behind on the new year's thing, so I will be back later for that.

Comments

[splunge.livejournal.com]

Hey, i know this has nothing to do with what you just posted, but didnt you used to live on Briarcliff? We went to imrygels_ho's place for New Years, and i could have sworn its the EXACT apartment you lived in (or at least that small complex..)

[scyllacat.livejournal.com]

Ok, yes, it's this tiny little complex between Clifton and the TV station. Cute though.

[splunge.livejournal.com]

email me the address, im just curious if its the same place.
It would be freaky weird if it was.

[scyllacat.livejournal.com]

Dahling, that was 1993! I don't remember what the address is! 18-- I think.

[polychromatic22.livejournal.com]

I totally know precisely where it is, but I don'tknow the address, just how to get there. They tried to turn it upscale.

[scyllacat.livejournal.com]

It's such a repetitive dream that I've started to think of it as a good thing, you know, the dead weight of something that I don't need anymore falling off.

A few months after my father died, I had a dream where we were standing out in the snow. I took his hand and said, "You have to come inside, you're sick." He didn't understand. I took him inside and he sat next to my mother, who was crying because he was dead. He put his arm around her, but he didn't understand why she was sad. That's the last time I remember him ever being him in a dream.

Since then, it's not him, just the dead things of the past. I really don't mind him being there, it's all those icky people acting like he's alive.

[flyswatter.livejournal.com]

Oddly enough, I dreamed that Princess Diana was chasing my husband around with a fish. Actually this is a lie.

[polychromatic22.livejournal.com]

It must have been one of those weird "remember your past" nights. I dreamed I went back to my original house, the house I think of as "my house," and tried to convince the owners to let me inside, which they did. They had changed things so much, though, that it was quite upsetting. The house I knew was gone. It was very a very obvious dream, all "you can't go back," but damn, I really do have a half fantasy about going back to that town and owning that house. I've seen current satellite photos, and it still exists, and from the outside looks much the same.
There's something weirdly comforting and needy about the idea of being in that home. I think it was the last of my family in that house. Our last good years.
In many ways, I recreate it when looking for a place to live. Having the master bedroom downstairs, and the 3 bedrooms upstairs, things like that.
My family died after we moved from that home.