Here's the letter

[scyllacat]

Ok, you all win. I don't think he INTENDED to be an asshole.

I just don't believe that he's not BEING an asshole. Because to tell a flaming pagan that this is how God intended, then that's "You're doing it Wrong," to my way of looking at it.

As it turns out, that IS the only thing he said about it.

I think I'll write him back, as soon as I can keep from snarking.

So here it is:

You're right, not much in common at all except for the adoption part.

I've always known I'm adopted... I've never known any different. I believe that's the best way to approach adopted kids on it. I've always been told how special that made me by my parents and especially by my grandparents. I've never thought of it any other way and have never felt any less of a person than anyone else, nor has anyone ever treated me less as a result.

To be honest, I'm not sure how much of a role the genetics plays, except for looks, medical history and maybe some mannerisms, such has how one smiles etc. I do thank my biological mother for giving me up and giving me the life I have. Obviously she felt she could not do the same.

Other than that, I really think environmental factors such as your parents, and life experiences make up the bulk of your personality. I really believe kids deserve 2 loving parents (mom and dad the way God intended) and I believe a healthy Christian marriage is the best way to raise kids.

I was lucky enough to have both, and think that WAY outweighed the biological factors in my life on how I turned out.

I hope that helps in your quest for adoption feedback!

Comments

[skylarblue.livejournal.com]

Asshole or not, I think that, in reading this, that he was expressing his opinion. I mean, not everyone has the same ideals as most of the people I know. Meaning that single, gay, married, happily unmarried for umpteen years, whatever, and you're still cool and perfectly capable of raising a child. Some people believe that it takes 2 (naturally or otherwise, it biologically does) parents to raise a child.

I can say, that from my own experience, that it truly takes a village to raise a child and you'll have that. A large extended family, whether related or not, is an excellent environment in which to raise a child.

I have no idea how "God intended." Who's to say what God intended? Has anyone actually had a conversation with the guy? SHEESH.

[scyllacat.livejournal.com]

yeah, luv, that's what makes it so aggravating. If he hadn't dropped that little phrase in there, I could accept it as his opinion, and actually agree with 85% of it. However, OKC puts us at 40+% enemies, and I don't know anyone that I'm almost HALF enemies with, so I'm assuming there's a reason.

But somewhere in this mess, I posted my reply to him, which I tried to make peaceful and interested, not like I was ready to bite him.

[skylarblue.livejournal.com]

Good for you. Not getting defensive is a good thing. We'll have to see how he responds now. If he tries to convert you, we'll have another session with all the flaming pagans offering their insights.