Here's the letter

[scyllacat]

Ok, you all win. I don't think he INTENDED to be an asshole.

I just don't believe that he's not BEING an asshole. Because to tell a flaming pagan that this is how God intended, then that's "You're doing it Wrong," to my way of looking at it.

As it turns out, that IS the only thing he said about it.

I think I'll write him back, as soon as I can keep from snarking.

So here it is:

You're right, not much in common at all except for the adoption part.

I've always known I'm adopted... I've never known any different. I believe that's the best way to approach adopted kids on it. I've always been told how special that made me by my parents and especially by my grandparents. I've never thought of it any other way and have never felt any less of a person than anyone else, nor has anyone ever treated me less as a result.

To be honest, I'm not sure how much of a role the genetics plays, except for looks, medical history and maybe some mannerisms, such has how one smiles etc. I do thank my biological mother for giving me up and giving me the life I have. Obviously she felt she could not do the same.

Other than that, I really think environmental factors such as your parents, and life experiences make up the bulk of your personality. I really believe kids deserve 2 loving parents (mom and dad the way God intended) and I believe a healthy Christian marriage is the best way to raise kids.

I was lucky enough to have both, and think that WAY outweighed the biological factors in my life on how I turned out.

I hope that helps in your quest for adoption feedback!

Comments

[scyllacat.livejournal.com]

So you're an asshole. So are many of my friends. It's the ones who don't KNOW they are that I want to kill. :)

Secondly, no, I don't think I missed any of it. It says on my profile (in case you missed it elsewhere) that I'm bi, Wiccan, and ok with being a single mom. I'm sure that he styled that whole bit there just to tell me HOW different he is from me.... the point is, none of it bothered me at all (just his opinion, right?) until he got to the part where God Likes Him Better because of it.

Thirdly, you were able to see and read it more in depth than I could. I've tried to stop myself from raging whenever possible, and sometimes, that means indulging in some avoidance. In short, I don't disagree one bit, I just had a hard time getting it out there.

(Fourthly)... well, except for the genetics thing. Because I was exploring this New Idea (shiny new toy!) that genetics are Bigger Than We Thought... it's like, they're the majority shareholder, see, and your Nurture may be the other one, but scientists are saying (according to this book my friend was reading) it's more like an overlay of family, place, friends, schooling, etc., all competing with each other, while genes just go merrily along, unconflicted, pulling the strings and flipping the switches. I thought that I would like hearing about the experience of someone who was adopted and had blood-related children. But there was nothing new to see here. So I move along.

I AM, however, going to have to read that book. I had no idea it was so controversial.