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This is what I can figure out. It's for everyone. It's not about blaming any one person. It is about appreciating what I have learned from the people who have loved me.
1. Know who you are: The unexamined life is not worth living. Know what you are. If your whole life as you know it disappeared today, and you had no grief, no obligations, where would you go, what would you choose? Who would you love? Why?
2. Appreciate me for who I am: I am different. I am comfortable with that. I am constantly changing. Maybe I am damn self-absorbed, but I am the only medium through which I can experience the world. I am loyal, generous, stubborn, impatient; I am vain and brave and tough; I am a muse, and the troubadours write about me. Worship me, I am untamed, and I run through the night. I become attached easily though, and if you sit quietly, I will come to your side, curious as a cat to see what you are about.
3. Chase me: Let me know, and we will have a merry game. Woo me, and if you aren't sure how, ask me. I want to know I am -worth- the effort, ~and~ that you are strong enough to make that effort.
4. Let me chase you: I need some space from time to time, some place to just be my self. Don't worry if you back off for a bit, I will come around, looking to play again.
5. Trade strokes for strokes. If you are hungry, tell me, I may not know. When I need strokes, I will tell you. If I come to you, with an offering of love, love me back, give me the peace and security of knowing that you love me. You don't have to keep a tally, just notice when the balance is getting low.
I made a mistake recently, and they explained it to me in mentor orientation, of all places: I was running out of coin in my emotional bank account. It had been full, full to overflowing just a couple of months ago.... I had forgotten it could be finite, and I drew on it too heavily. As the balance grew low, I became defensive, and my teeth were bared all the time, but I felt like I couldn't ask HIM, and I felt like he resented my getting it from anywhere else.
I even tried making love to him to restore some of the balance, but it was too little too late. :(
6. Take your time, letting me in, letting me let you in: Pushing open the doors of intimacy may be exciting, but it leads to struggle if you're not ready for what's on the other side. There's nothing wrong with introducing yourself slowly, building a picture of each other piece by piece. I feel like the plunging-right-in method has left me with a lot of trouble... and ruined relationships that didn't need to be ruined. That could have been perfect, eternal.
Again, maybe there will be more; Consider it a rough draft.
1. Know who you are: The unexamined life is not worth living. Know what you are. If your whole life as you know it disappeared today, and you had no grief, no obligations, where would you go, what would you choose? Who would you love? Why?
2. Appreciate me for who I am: I am different. I am comfortable with that. I am constantly changing. Maybe I am damn self-absorbed, but I am the only medium through which I can experience the world. I am loyal, generous, stubborn, impatient; I am vain and brave and tough; I am a muse, and the troubadours write about me. Worship me, I am untamed, and I run through the night. I become attached easily though, and if you sit quietly, I will come to your side, curious as a cat to see what you are about.
3. Chase me: Let me know, and we will have a merry game. Woo me, and if you aren't sure how, ask me. I want to know I am -worth- the effort, ~and~ that you are strong enough to make that effort.
4. Let me chase you: I need some space from time to time, some place to just be my self. Don't worry if you back off for a bit, I will come around, looking to play again.
5. Trade strokes for strokes. If you are hungry, tell me, I may not know. When I need strokes, I will tell you. If I come to you, with an offering of love, love me back, give me the peace and security of knowing that you love me. You don't have to keep a tally, just notice when the balance is getting low.
I made a mistake recently, and they explained it to me in mentor orientation, of all places: I was running out of coin in my emotional bank account. It had been full, full to overflowing just a couple of months ago.... I had forgotten it could be finite, and I drew on it too heavily. As the balance grew low, I became defensive, and my teeth were bared all the time, but I felt like I couldn't ask HIM, and I felt like he resented my getting it from anywhere else.
I even tried making love to him to restore some of the balance, but it was too little too late. :(
6. Take your time, letting me in, letting me let you in: Pushing open the doors of intimacy may be exciting, but it leads to struggle if you're not ready for what's on the other side. There's nothing wrong with introducing yourself slowly, building a picture of each other piece by piece. I feel like the plunging-right-in method has left me with a lot of trouble... and ruined relationships that didn't need to be ruined. That could have been perfect, eternal.
Again, maybe there will be more; Consider it a rough draft.
