Raven on a Writing Desk

When I got to the haunted house last night, I was "on hold." Which basically meant that Nancy, who casts everyone, was waiting to see what was leftover. I'm flexible, and there were a couple of others of the more versatile actors waiting to see what they would get.

Finally, about 6:40, she told me to do dots.

If you have worked at Netherworld, and mostly if you've been to Netherworld, you know what "dots" is. Every year we have a 3-D house, where you put on 3-D glasses and go through a maze of day-glo paint lit by black lights. The glasses make all the colors stand out with different depths, and black disappears like a hole. Each year, like in all the houses, we have a different theme.

But every year, we have a dot room. Just a plain, black painted room, with flourescent dots all over the walls and floor. We change up the layout, sure, but it's basically the same thing: the person who "works dots" wears a black vinyl tabard covered with the same dots as are stuck all over the walls. People who walk through see that "the wall moves" or a person who seems to appear "out of nowhere."

Now, in many ways, this is a plum position for a busy night: Show up in your all-black clothes, put on your tabard, gloves, and ninja mask (that's what I call them, it's a black cowl with a black mesh covering your face) and you're ready to go. No hot rubber mask that fills up with sweat. No makeup to break out from, no painful prosthetics. Also, the nature of the gig means minimal movement. It's a "mannequin scare," meaning the scare is in finding out that you're there, so it doesn't really matter WHAT you do, as long as you can be still.

It was also one of the last few scares people would see all night. They would have gone through the main house and probably the dark "Freakpit" before coming into 3-D. The house would, by contrast, seem brightly lit and lighthearted.

Therefore, while working dots, I am always surprised at the number of screams and jumps and startles that I get. But last night, I figured that there was no reason to concentrate on the people who did freak out, they were getting their money's worth. I would go after people who needed something else.

So, I started moaning in people's ears, in a ghost-y voice, "Doooottttts are eeeee-vulllllll..." and "Eeeee-vullll Dot Mon-sterrrr...." Some people thought this was spooky. Some people thought this was funny. If people seemed like they were listening or in the mood for humor, I would add on...

And it came out like this:

"Evil Dots...."

...borrow your car and bring it back with no gas.

...drink all your tequila/beer.

...eat all your chocolate/ice cream.

...stay up past their bedtime.

...replace your coffee with decaf.

...hide under your bed and grab your toes.

...give your ex your new phone number.

I love dots.