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So, where were we, Dragon*Con, when I last wrote anything profound here? Oooh, wait, scratch "profound."
The thing I find strangest about my life at this moment, is that some people think I make decisions suddenly, or that they're based on the influence of whatever other person has come into my life most recently. Ok, by "some people," I generally mean my mother, but it could include others.
I find it strange because I generally believe people think I dither around too much, talk around and around problems without coming to any conclusions. Ok, by "people" I generally mean the men in my life, but it could include other people.
Generally, from my point of view, I talk out things I am not sure about, particularly if I feel pressured to come to a conclusion; so the decisions that seem to take a while are actually the ones I'm trying to make quickly.
On the other hand, decisions that for some people seem to come out of nowhere are actually the ones I am most comfortable with -- decisions that have been percolating, wishes unfulfilled because the time or circumstances weren't right -- and the ones that have probably taken the longest.
So, right now, I'd like to move to New Orleans. I have always wanted to live there. I have always felt right at home in the French Quarter -- cool clothes, kink, magic, antiques, used books, and of course music and art. Then there's the food.... With all that, I can endure Mardi Gras, or at least hide successfully.
But, of course, coming after my aborted attempt to migrate to California last year (where was my head? Oh yeah, I remember -- up S---'s A--), and a year-long struggle to work with my connections and established community here (which has lately shown itself to be either a magnificent waste of time, or I'm actually the sort of person who can actively alienate people by trying to be friendly), the decision to move to New Orleans seems sudden and precipitous to some people.
Particularly those who find it easy to believe that it's all about a certain Someone...
Well, folks, whatever you do, leave Someone out of it. He has his own stuff to deal with and we'll get around to it when we get around to it.
Now, on the other hand, the weak job market in New Orleans may make it seem as though I'm blue-skying a little here. I mean, I can't necessarily say I'll have a better chance to make friends, or be liked, or do something I'm qualified for, or have a leadership position, or find fame and fortune there than here; I just like the environment better.
If I could find a job, though, things would definitely look up, either there or here.
Right, that brings us to what's actually going on here and now.
Yesterday, after spending the night watching movies with a friend (and he has a really nice pillow-top mattress that I found difficult to resist after my flat futon), I got all in my car ready to go, and got on 400 and about the time I got up to cruising speed, the car choked down, the oil light came on, then the battery light. Although it was apparent the battery had power (assuming the battery light came on because the engine stopped running), the engine would not turn over again.
Now, since there have been no updates on this journal for some time, and since usually I have talked about relationships rather than cars, you may not know that since the purchase of the car 10 months ago, I have replaced all four tires and an alternator, my mother has replaced the entire front brake system and a head gasket, and I replaced a water pump just two weeks ago (which ongoing failure was suspected to be the cause of the head gasket rupture).
Having corrected the problem with the cooling system and finally discovered that the rear brakes were not gripping at all (causing the untimely wear on the front brakes), I thought that the car was at long last "broken in" and that I could comfortably tool along in my courier job for a couple more months until I could save up money to go to NOLA and look for a job.
The sudden mysterious breakdown apparently related to neither of the systems I was having trouble with, and not even related to getting into an accident (I've also been in my share of hot water lately over a speeding ticket and a couple of bumped bumpers, so much so that it threatened my job and I had to give myself a severe talking to. [It took most of the eight hours I spent driving to New Orleans. When I lecture myself, I don't kid around.]), has convinced me that whatever else may or may not be true, the gods are not interested in me being a courier any longer.
So, my rent is paid for the month, but none of my last three paychecks has been up to par due to the car being off the road. I really need about $500 in addition to whatever the car needs to have done to it THIS time, in order to catch up on past bills. But I can't work, at the moment, without a car.
I don't mind taking MARTA, but coming up with another shit job in this city instead of one I actually feel like making a career in... I don't think I have the heart for it anymore.
But it's the dead season in N0, so for a few weeks, at least, the most I can do is think. Thinking doesn't suck, I suppose.
But I'm grateful if anyone else has any ideas.
The thing I find strangest about my life at this moment, is that some people think I make decisions suddenly, or that they're based on the influence of whatever other person has come into my life most recently. Ok, by "some people," I generally mean my mother, but it could include others.
I find it strange because I generally believe people think I dither around too much, talk around and around problems without coming to any conclusions. Ok, by "people" I generally mean the men in my life, but it could include other people.
Generally, from my point of view, I talk out things I am not sure about, particularly if I feel pressured to come to a conclusion; so the decisions that seem to take a while are actually the ones I'm trying to make quickly.
On the other hand, decisions that for some people seem to come out of nowhere are actually the ones I am most comfortable with -- decisions that have been percolating, wishes unfulfilled because the time or circumstances weren't right -- and the ones that have probably taken the longest.
So, right now, I'd like to move to New Orleans. I have always wanted to live there. I have always felt right at home in the French Quarter -- cool clothes, kink, magic, antiques, used books, and of course music and art. Then there's the food.... With all that, I can endure Mardi Gras, or at least hide successfully.
But, of course, coming after my aborted attempt to migrate to California last year (where was my head? Oh yeah, I remember -- up S---'s A--), and a year-long struggle to work with my connections and established community here (which has lately shown itself to be either a magnificent waste of time, or I'm actually the sort of person who can actively alienate people by trying to be friendly), the decision to move to New Orleans seems sudden and precipitous to some people.
Particularly those who find it easy to believe that it's all about a certain Someone...
Well, folks, whatever you do, leave Someone out of it. He has his own stuff to deal with and we'll get around to it when we get around to it.
Now, on the other hand, the weak job market in New Orleans may make it seem as though I'm blue-skying a little here. I mean, I can't necessarily say I'll have a better chance to make friends, or be liked, or do something I'm qualified for, or have a leadership position, or find fame and fortune there than here; I just like the environment better.
If I could find a job, though, things would definitely look up, either there or here.
Right, that brings us to what's actually going on here and now.
Yesterday, after spending the night watching movies with a friend (and he has a really nice pillow-top mattress that I found difficult to resist after my flat futon), I got all in my car ready to go, and got on 400 and about the time I got up to cruising speed, the car choked down, the oil light came on, then the battery light. Although it was apparent the battery had power (assuming the battery light came on because the engine stopped running), the engine would not turn over again.
Now, since there have been no updates on this journal for some time, and since usually I have talked about relationships rather than cars, you may not know that since the purchase of the car 10 months ago, I have replaced all four tires and an alternator, my mother has replaced the entire front brake system and a head gasket, and I replaced a water pump just two weeks ago (which ongoing failure was suspected to be the cause of the head gasket rupture).
Having corrected the problem with the cooling system and finally discovered that the rear brakes were not gripping at all (causing the untimely wear on the front brakes), I thought that the car was at long last "broken in" and that I could comfortably tool along in my courier job for a couple more months until I could save up money to go to NOLA and look for a job.
The sudden mysterious breakdown apparently related to neither of the systems I was having trouble with, and not even related to getting into an accident (I've also been in my share of hot water lately over a speeding ticket and a couple of bumped bumpers, so much so that it threatened my job and I had to give myself a severe talking to. [It took most of the eight hours I spent driving to New Orleans. When I lecture myself, I don't kid around.]), has convinced me that whatever else may or may not be true, the gods are not interested in me being a courier any longer.
So, my rent is paid for the month, but none of my last three paychecks has been up to par due to the car being off the road. I really need about $500 in addition to whatever the car needs to have done to it THIS time, in order to catch up on past bills. But I can't work, at the moment, without a car.
I don't mind taking MARTA, but coming up with another shit job in this city instead of one I actually feel like making a career in... I don't think I have the heart for it anymore.
But it's the dead season in N0, so for a few weeks, at least, the most I can do is think. Thinking doesn't suck, I suppose.
But I'm grateful if anyone else has any ideas.
