scyllacat | Here's the letter

Ok, you all win. I don't think he INTENDED to be an asshole.

I just don't believe that he's not BEING an asshole. Because to tell a flaming pagan that this is how God intended, then that's "You're doing it Wrong," to my way of looking at it.

As it turns out, that IS the only thing he said about it.

I think I'll write him back, as soon as I can keep from snarking.

So here it is:

You're right, not much in common at all except for the adoption part.

I've always known I'm adopted... I've never known any different. I believe that's the best way to approach adopted kids on it. I've always been told how special that made me by my parents and especially by my grandparents. I've never thought of it any other way and have never felt any less of a person than anyone else, nor has anyone ever treated me less as a result.

To be honest, I'm not sure how much of a role the genetics plays, except for looks, medical history and maybe some mannerisms, such has how one smiles etc. I do thank my biological mother for giving me up and giving me the life I have. Obviously she felt she could not do the same.

Other than that, I really think environmental factors such as your parents, and life experiences make up the bulk of your personality. I really believe kids deserve 2 loving parents (mom and dad the way God intended) and I believe a healthy Christian marriage is the best way to raise kids.

I was lucky enough to have both, and think that WAY outweighed the biological factors in my life on how I turned out.

I hope that helps in your quest for adoption feedback!

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Here's my response:

My experience was a lot like yours, but I do have one question:
How do you know what God intended? This opens up quite a can of theological worms for me, and since you brought it up, I have to wonder why.

What I was told is in the science is that we are at least half our genes. And looks, medical history, and mannerisms are not a very small part. That includes ALL the physiological structure of your body and all the chemistry. Not just a tendency to get cancer, but a tendency to get mad. Not just the height of your father, but the kind of girls he liked as well. From what I've seen of how different me and my sister are from each other and our parents, I have to think that it's certainly got a bigger impact than I thought.

It's one of the reasons I really want children. And since I tried the Husband way (and just got out of my third failed attempt), and I am not willing to believe God doesn't intend for me to have a family, then I'm willing to think maybe I'm going about it the wrong way, and should open myself up to a wider variety of understanding.

I like your prose considerably more than I like his. (It has some poetic elements to it, most of which will probably be lost on him, but some might stir the parts of his soul that aren't quite dead .. :)

Presuming religious superiority is always rude and, depending upon the attitude of the offended party, can sometimes get you an interview with your sponsoring deity sooner than you might have wished. Rather like a salesman explaining to the Home Office why their sales pitch 'didn't' work.

As for the other question of genetics: genes like jeans fare best when you don't put them in too hot water too often...;-}

This is wonderful. May I quote you?

Sure, if the aphorism fits, quote it.
Glad to have obliged.

Right. I think he's flat wrong in his beliefs about the genetics, but it is what I would expect from a Christian adoptee. No, My GENES don't control me, those came from strangers. I'm going to wrest control from science and give it to God (even though God made the science. Are we confused yet?). I don't know why they don't want the physical world to be what it is, but there you go.

But what I really want to know about religion is Why Did He Bring It Up? Because if I'm really Against him, then I'm the Enemy, and that's hardly a volley of burning coals upon my head to make me pause. If I'm heathen/unconverted, then it's not likely to inspire me to become a Christian, and if I AM a Christian, then it seems like it's meant to shame me.

Like I said, I'm convinced that he read my profile and wrote that (and what's around it) to Contrast with me specifically, but what did he think it would result in? I hope to point out to him more useful tactics for future reference, but I don't think he's going to stay in the conversation long enough to reap the benefits of my wisdom. :)

And the "seizure/Caesar" pun was good, btw.

Well it could just be that weird, annoying thing that so many Christians are trained to do where they bring up God or Jesus and their purported Will at EVERY available opportunity.

It doesn't matter if they're talking to another Christian about the most mundane of matters, they will be sure to mention that it was as God intended that they woke up that morning/ate oatmeal for breakfast/heard their team won the game last night/whatever...It's like "God" "Jesus" or assorted biblical name-dropping is the Word of the Day or something, and they get extra afterlife points for using a vocabulary word.

Seriously, it's like Pee Wee's Playhouse, except with fundies. Instead of:

"...hat."
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!"

it's:

"...Jesus....as God intended!"
"Amen/Ya got that right/Praise the Lord!"

/end offensive rantiness. (sorry, coffee overdose.)

That must be one of the new icons. Bwahahahaa! I love it.

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