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[scyllacat]

Who's Your 80s Movie Icon Alter-Ego? Find out @ She's Crafty

Another DUH moment.

Apparently, being single means not being invited to anything anyone else is doing. They're doing it with their pre-established group of friends, or their dates. They'll sometimes let me tag along if I ask in time.

Apparently, this is not much different than being part of a couple, which was why Stan in the first place. Why does Mark give Heather what I want, but never give it to me? Why does Tor always have time for his friends, but never asks to spend time with me? Why do I ask for time, and everyone says yeah, that would be great, but then when I say, ok, ready? they've forgotten something else.

Why is it that the only way I'll get what I want is by giving up what I can't stand to lose? It's a fucking waste of time, if you ask me. I must not really want it all that much, huh?

What would you do if you knew a guy who was great in bed, but otherwise basically ordinary? What would you do if you knew a guy who was great in bed but was never going to leave the house? What would you do if you knew a guy who was great fun to be around, except he was never going to be around?

I hate my life. Because my life has always been about the people in it, and the people in it right now aren't giving me what I want. And before you say anything about how I ought to do something for them.... oh, just fuck off first. I wouldn't be here if I wasn't such a damn doormat in the first place.

Comments

Re: I wouldn't be here if I wasn't such a damn doormat in the first place.

[amilori.livejournal.com]

You're exactly right, you know. Matthew & I would try to get together with friends & run into the same blow-off that you're getting. So, we got aggressive. We'd call someone we wanted to see & make solid plans. Time, place, length of visit, everything. We also learned, especially at furry coffee & the like, that trying to get a consensus didn't work well, but saying we're going *here*, join us if you want to do so, did work. Don't settle for being the "if we have time" friend. Ask for a solid commitment. If they won't give it to you, well, you've learned something about that friend, haven't you?